Recently I had somewhat of a revelation. My wife and I were talking about various issues and we eventually arrived on the issue of personal devotions. As we were talking something occurred to me for the first time. I asked myself the question: Why (at least in my mind) do I place more emphasis on my own private devotions than on our devotion time together?
I guess the answer strikes deeply into my own understanding of personhood and salvation.
First off, in regards to personhood, my being is not found in myself — it is only found in the context of another. In my case, that “other” is my wife Rebecca. She gives me definition. She validates and defines my existence. She “completes me,” if I could use a great phrase from a not-so-great movie. Why then would I seek to live in this life as though I could define my being apart from her presence? Should not my every thought and action occur within the context of two instead of one?
Secondly, in regards to salvation, my salvation is not a monadic thing. I do not believe in a God who impersonally and arbitrarily determines the elect from the reprobate. I believe in a relational God — relational within Himself and in His dealings with man. The purpose of salvation is to create a “new community.” The problem in the West is that salvation to us is so individualistic. What matters most is “my own personal relationship with Jesus Christ.” It is evident by the way we have geared our worship. Worship, in the American church, is so focused on self, so focused on “my” time with Jesus. Instead of spending our time apart during the week as our own personal time with Jesus we have turned our time with the Body on Sunday as that time instead of the corporate worship that it should be. Our churches on Sunday mornings are full of a bunch of “individuals” who have a “me and Jesus” mentality. How did our understanding of worship get so twisted?
I suspect it is due to our understanding of who God is. If we focus on God’s Oneness before His Threeness then the tendency is to lose out on the concept of community. But if we focus on God’s Threeness, and how within His threeness He is One, then we will be more relationally/community-focused.
So back to my original issue. Which is more important to me: My quiet times with God, or our quiet times with God? It seems to me that if a.) I find my being in another, and b.) I believe in a Triune God as Three who are One, then the answer should be obvious.
Sean-
I don’t see it as obvious. Perhaps I am missing something, but Why is your devotion time with God not more important than You and Becca’s time with HIm? Shouldn’t your relationship with God be #1? Then your relationship with Becca should be something that flows from that.
To me you are saying that you and your wife’s devotion time is more important than your own. That confuses me because I believe that we should put Christ above all relationships. Christ first, family next.
I agree that she defines you. But He created you. Which comes first?
As to your second point about selfishness in worship, I think we nailed that in an earlier post. We are self centered when it comes to our worship. But I think we are commanded to have a personal relationship with Christ, it should just not be done during our corporate worship.
So, I guess I am saying I don’t think it is so obvious. I would tend to think that our devotion time with Christ should come first. I do however think that we should have time when we sit down with our spouse and together see what God is saying to us.
If I have missed something, please clarify.
Sean,
You’ve really struck an interesting point–we really talk about an interdependant community of faith, but when we fail to practice it in our own home… well, we’ve not even begun to live out “trinitarian love”. I like you have always placed the higher priority on my own “personal relationship” with God. Isn’t it interesting that God walked in the garden with Adam AND EVE together presumably… in our modern day God would have to take turns going for walks with the two of them.
I also hear what you are saying Jan… and we can’t swing the pendulem (sp?) two far the other direction… but I believe Sean is on to something here. Why should we practice corporate worship on Sunday’s if it’s not needed Monday through Saturday? We talk about a “corporate” worship as God’s design because we are underlining the essential part “we” play in our salvation and faith; but if the “I” is still primary then the “we” can always be put on the back burner of our lives–even on Sundays.
Also I think it’s important to distinguish between “time with my wife” and time we (my wife and I) spend with God together. Too often even family or martial devotions can become about family and spouses and not about Him. When Kathy and pray together I’m not putting her first (before God) I’m putting Him first (before us).
PS–Jan, I’m glad you’re commenting too, you don’t need a seminary degree to post… I’ve forgotten most of what I learned anyway! (I’m kidding, I hope!)
I didn’t know if you all knew it or not, but while “inthefight” shut down… Dr. Steve Blakemore (Wesley Biblical professor) has opened up a new blogsite at “thinkingisgoodforyou.blogspot.com”. Blakemore is an amazing professor with a very “thoughtful” critique of society and theology. Just thought I’d take a minute to promote the new site. Few individuals have made me think as deeply as Blakemore.
Will you all forgive me for posting an advertisement? (grin)
My young apprentice,
I enjoyed your commentary. One more thought to consider:
Genesis 1:27
So God created man (humanity) in his own image, in the image of God he created him; male and female he created them.
We typically like to call ourselves the image of God, but if you examine the text closely it seems to indicate that perhaps male & female joined (in a marriage relationship) are created in the image of God.
So, Jerry McGuire share’s more truth than he realizes when he quips, “you complete me.”
Each spouse is the perfect compliment to one another.
Just some food for thought and little more evidence into the relational nature of God.
Jedi Master
Thank-you Jan, Thinking in Ohio, and Jedi Master (?).
In response to Jan:
Just as a point of clarification, I wasn’t suggesting that my relationship with Rebecca was more important or even equal to my relationship with God. What I was suggesting is that maybe I should view our relationship with God as more important than my own. This is not meant to minimize my own personal relationship with Jesus Christ. I believe very strongly in this necessity. But I have to think about the implications of the “two become one.” Why is it that I do everything with my wife forefront in my agenda, but when it comes to what is most fundamental to my being (my relationship with God) it is “me and Jesus” first then it is “we and Jesus” second? Should it not be the other way around?
Thinking in Ohio,
We can always gauge the life of the church by its worship. Even though worship in American Evangelicalism has become quite lively and spirited it still seems to be fundamentally self-oriented. We have reduced our “salvation experience” to a 3 minute session at a camp meeting alter and our worship to 30 minutes of, in the words of a great professor, “groovin’ on Jesus” a week.
And as far as your shameless advertising, feel free any time. Just as long as it is not for a pop-up trailer or a double-wide.
Ah, Jedi Master,
You have gone right where I wanted to go. I had in my mind the very passage you quoted when I wrote my original post. God was not finished with Adam when He finished with Adam. Even though Adam had his relationship with God it was as if God said, “I am enough for you Adam, but not all.” In fact, is it not in the account of the creation of man before the creation of woman that we find the only aspect of creation that is “not good”? All throughout the creation narrative we hear how everything is “good,” but then we get to Genesis 2:18 and He declares: “It is not good that the man should be alone; I will make him a helper as his partner.”
And yes, Jerry McGuire must have been inspired by the Holy Spirit. Truer words have never come from Hollywood. (I suggested this to my youth group one time during a lesson on personhood…. and they laughed at me. Yeah, they laughed at me.)